Harry Potter Nonsense
by AnimeFangirl15
Summary: This is just what me and a bunch of my friends came up with.It is just random stuff.Rated M for adult situations.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:**I do not own harry potter. I do not own any of its characters. If I did the story line and pairings would be very different.

This is just a bunch of rambling on that me and a few of my friends did. This is what happens when you add a bunch of bored high school students and free time together. You get trouble!

Please no flames!

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Once upon a time, Harry found out someone wrote him and Hermione together. He was very pissed so he flamed them all and went to the pure, very pure, writer Levi. Then he was together with Lupin. All was happy.The End. 

Lupin and Harry were married.Harry and Lupin loved his adopted nudist son. Harry went to Hermione and Ron's wedding. Draco peed his pants. The pee loved him.

Harry realized how stupid he was to marry Lupin. He left him and their adopted nudist son and later after a divorce married Hermione. They lived a long and happy life with their 2 children.

Ron found out and investigated. He found out Harry was evil and put Hermione under the imperius curse. He freed Hermione and killed Harry. Harry died.As in dead. As in gone.

A badger cried, but thats about it.

It turned out it was only his evil twin that had died. Ron was in a car crash and was put in a coma.

It turned out Ron died and became a ghost. Hermione, hating that Dobby was forcing Harry to marry her, killed herself and became a ghost too. They loved each other forever and ever.

Luna and Goyle were in love. They dated for about two years. A badger chewed on Luna's toes and she fell into a coma. Goyle's evil twin then appeared and betrayed his brother by secretly dating Luna when she came out of her coma.

But during her coma she had changed. She was now a dumbeldore wannabe. So she tried to snag Ginny. Neville got angry because Ginny was pregnant with his baby.

It was secretly Malfoys baby though.

Ginny had a sexual change. Her baby was no longer human, but now house-elf.

Dobby said..."Sexy!Yo' baby is!"

When the baby was born it developed long elf like ears and wanted to bang his head a lot. He finally over the years got a huge head concussion.

Ginny cried and killed Malfoy for being a dumb blonde.

Ginny then realized what she had done and celebrated.

Sirius went to Lupin's house and they both ressurected the good Harry and the three of them had wild, passionate pedophile sex. Afterwards the three of them got married. Harry became an assasin and killed Luna with a dead rabbit.

But Luna was possessed by the devil so her and Harry fought a long hard battle that only lasted about five minutes. Harry finally got a weasel and beated her in the head. The devil is mortally wounded by weasels.

Beer was passed around again.Dumble D and Mc G mysteriously disappeared and disturbing sounds came from Snape's quarters. Snape screamed and stabbed his nose off with Harry's weasel. Ginny burst out of a cup of wine, wearing nothing but a bikini, and thuroughly undead. Only Malfoy and Neville were happy to see her.

But suddenly Lupin transformed into a were wolf and kidnapped Harry. Sirius cried until he found a blow up Harry doll, then he was happy. Lupin and Harry lived happily and Secretly forever. Meanwhile at the party, right after Harry and Lupin left, Dumble D and Mc G came out and screamed "GANGBANG!" when they saw Ginny. Suddenly everybody there was on the undead girl. Yes, even Sirius and his blow up doll.


	2. Chapter 2

**Harry Potter Nonsense**

**Part 2**

**This second part of the story was created by me and my friend Jessica. She is just as warped as my friends Levi and Amy, the other two original writers. I sometimes wonder if she is more warped than all of us put together. She is in the seventh grade. Mmkay.

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**

One day Harry, Ron, and Hermione were in the halls at Hogwarts. They were on their way to Snape's class. When they got to his class they were amazed to find it wasn't Snape, but was Sirius. Sirius greeted them with a smile. But on the inside he was having very dirty thoughts about Harry.

They went on with the class as normal. But after class he held Harry and Ron back. He invited them back into his very secluded, private office, comeplete with blow up dolls. Sirius turned on the music with his wand and they all did their own, weird, but perverted version of the ChaCha slide.

Hermione then burst in and joined the pedophile "Party" and screamed GangBang! Everyone jumped on Ron and shouted "Whoooooooo". Ron, during their "party", somehow ended up with a broken pelvis. Gee, wonder how that happened.

Three fun filled hours later their party ended. Hermione had to take a pregnancy test, which ended up positive. The question was who was the father?

However down in the kitchen Dobby and the house elf winky were having fun of their own. This really isn't the best image your getting right now, is it?

Lupin and Ginny, all while in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom stall, were having very loud, very wet, adult entertainment. They could be heard all throughout the hall. Proffesor Mcgonnagall then walked by and decided to investigate. She walked into the stall, and with a look of excitement on her face, started to strip. Lupin and Ginny's eyes started to burn in horror, but continued anyway.

Hermione, a while back ago took a paternity test, which turned out to be Dumbledore's baby. Ron then came back furious because it wasn't his child but was told it was his. He put her under the imperius curse. Hermione was then told he was the father and she told Harry and Sirius.

Nine months later she gave birth to a "chalanged" little girl. Ron was so proud that the curse had worked, seeing as how much he sucked at magic. Harry came back and told everyone Ron's deepest, darkest secret, that he was gay and was in love with his favorite writer, Levi.

Dobby and Winky were seemingly happy, but really and truly Winky was cheating on dobby with Percy Weasly. Percy tried to keep it a secret, but Winky burst into the ministry and demanded that Percy pay his child support. Winky called Percy a deadbeat and cussed him out in front of the minister who was currently the fabulously stylish minister Stevie, who immediately fired his sorry ass.

Lupin and Ginny had still not finished thier adult entertainment, and they just so happened top set a new world record on the longest time to ever have wild pedophile sex. They made it into the Wizarding book of world records. everybody congradulated them.

Hermione and Ron's "child" had grown up and found out that Ron had Hermione under the imperious curse and seeked revenge on the false father figure that had lied to her all her life.

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